September 12: The Day We Stop Pretending Dashboards Work

The Elephant in Every Startup's Room

Let's cut the crap.

You woke up today and opened:

• Stripe (MRR check)
• Google Analytics (traffic panic)
• Your CRM (pipeline review)
• Meta Ads (burn rate anxiety)
• Excel (to make sense of it all)
• Slack (to ask "anyone got the numbers?")

Time wasted: 47 minutes. Before your first coffee.

And we do this. Every. Single. Day.

The Numbers Nobody Admits

From 127 founder interviews:

The Stockholm Syndrome of SaaS

We've normalized insanity:

• "It's just how things work"
• "Everyone deals with this"
• "We need better training"
• "Maybe another tool will fix it"

Spoiler: It won't.

What I've Been Building for 6 Months (And Why)

127 Conversations That Changed Everything

I spent 3 months talking to founders:

• Seed-stage hustlers
• Series B scaling machines
• Enterprise dinosaurs trying to innovate

Universal truth bomb:

"I don't want to learn another f***ing dashboard tool. I just want answers."

The Stupidly Simple Solution

What if instead of building dashboards... We just asked questions?

You type: "Why did revenue drop yesterday?" AI understands. Connects everything. Builds the view. In 8 seconds.

Not another dashboard tool. The last dashboard tool.

Why September 12, 2025 Specifically

The Perfect Storm

AI is finally ready. GPT-4, Claude, LLMs are powerful enough. A year ago? Impossible. Today? Obvious.

The market is desperate. Post-ZIRP reality = efficiency matters. No more "growth at all costs." Now it's "understand the f***ing numbers."

We're ready. 6 months building. 127 interviews. 47 iterations. Time to ship.

Tomorrow's Timeline

Why Only 20 Companies?

No fake scarcity. Real reasons:

1. Quality > Quantity: We need deep feedback, not vanity metrics
2. Co-creation: You'll have direct Slack access to me
3. Fast iteration: 20 voices we can actually hear
4. Founder sanity: I can personally onboard 20. Not 200.

How to Prepare (If You Give a Damn)

Your 10-Minute Tomorrow Checklist

✅ Block 10min at 10am CET

• Read the full vision
• Check the mockups
• Decide if you care

✅ Audit your current mess

• Count your tools
• Calculate monthly burn
• Time your daily dashboard dance

✅ Ask yourself honestly

• Will you actually use a beta?
• Can you give 30min/week feedback?
• Do you want to influence the product?

What Makes a Great Beta Company

You're perfect if:

• Your dashboard setup is a dumpster fire
• You use 5+ different tools daily
• Someone senior actually gives a shit
• You can provide brutal feedback
• You represent a real use case

You're not a fit if:

• You just want free stuff
• You're a consultant/agency
• You're a competitor fishing
• You can't commit to feedback

We want partners, not users.

The Brutally Honest FAQ

"Is this vaporware?"

No. We have a working prototype. It's rough. That's why we need 20 companies to make it right.

"Does it replace my tools?"

No. It connects them. Keep Stripe, GA, whatever. We just unify the view.

"Is my data safe?"

Yes. End-to-end encrypted. No storage. Read-only access. We're more paranoid than you.

"How much?"

Beta companies get special terms. Free for the beta.

"Why should I trust you?"

You shouldn't. That's why it's a beta. Test it. Judge it. Decide.

"What if it sucks?"

Then you tell me it sucks, we fix it, and try again. That's how building works.

Two Futures. You Pick.

Future A: You Ignore This

• Keep your 47-minute morning ritual
• Keep paying for zombie tools
• Watch competitors get faster
• Regret it in 6 months

Future B: You Jump In

• Join 20 pioneers
• Shape the product
• Save 2 hours daily by October
• Get the advantage

See You Tomorrow (Or Don't)

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PS: If you're reading this Thursday night stressed about missing out, relax. The best candidates aren't the fastest clickers. They're the ones who get the vision. We want partners who understand the problem, not FOMO addicts.

PPS: Yes, we take international companies. Good problems are universal.